LET IT GO, HARVEY
by Mmlikestowrite
Summary: A one-shot taking place minutes after the end of 9x07. Donna told Harvey she loved him. Harvey said nothing. Can he let the past go long enough to focus on his future?


"**Let it go, Harvey"**

**A one-shot to get you through those final (and frustrating) few minutes of 9X07. This was a quick turnaround. I hope it makes sense! Hope you enjoy. **

"Where's Donna?" Lily asks.

"She's in the bedroom," Harvey replies. Slumped in his living room club chair, he takes comfort in the soothing tone of his mother's voice.

"And you're on the phone… with me?" Lily's surprised. Harvey's future has never looked brighter. He's finally with the love of his life, and he's still torturing himself about the past.

"Mom… I just want you to know how sorry I am," his voice cracking, as his fingers anxiously drum his lap. "I wasted a lot of time being angry. Time we should have had together."

"Harvey, what happened between us… it's over… it's time to let it go, son," Lily gently suggests. She's not sure what happened tonight, but something must have triggered the anguish she's hearing at the other end of the line.

"Ok, I'll try," he promises.

"Don't waste any more time on this, Harvey. If I'm right, your future is waiting for you in the other room," she reminds him. "Focus on her, on your happiness together. That's what matters now."

Wiping the dampness from his eyes, Harvey presses the phone a little closer against his cheek. "I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too, son," For a second, Lily hesitates, and then she decides to ask, "Have you told her yet?"

"I haven't told her everything, but she knows how I feel," he assures.

"You need to tell her… and Harvey?" his mother offers, "Don't hold back. Tell her what's in your heart. Donna needs to hear it."

After hanging up, Harvey places his cellphone on the coffee table, folds his jacket over the sofa back, and kicks off his shoes. Quietly stepping into the room, a tiny smile finds his lips, as he's instantly calmed by the sight before him.

Hardcover in hand, Donna is gorgeous in a sapphire blue nightie. In the glow of the bedside lamp, her hair is fiery red and her skin a warm white. Tucked around her slender hips, the new heather grey duvet she recently bought for their bed.

Over the years, Donna's mentioned that she's enjoyed books, but it's only since they've spent their nights together that Harvey's discovered just how voracious a reader she is.

The romance novels, memoirs and Shakespeare were not a surprise, but political articles from _The Economist_? Her subscription to _Ski_ magazine? Those were unexpected.

Harvey really shouldn't be surprised. Donna's always been a little unpredictable. The painting is a case in point. He was away for two days, and in that time, she had the artwork forged and an original stolen… all for him. All because she loves _him_.

That's when it hits Harvey. Over the years, he's taken this between them for granted. And he's doing it again now.

Tonight, she told him she loved him. Her words falling easily from her lips. But he said nothing. He just assumed she'd understand. After all, she's Donna.

Maybe he was just falling back on old habits. Giving enough of himself, but still holding back his deepest feelings. Yes, she's Donna, and she knows him better than anyone. But she's now his partner, his love.

Lily is right. She needs to hear it from him.

Sensing he's near, Donna flips her book over, and angles her head. "Everything ok?"

With a nod, Harvey slowly steps towards the bed, and brings himself to lie down alongside her. Burrowing his face into her neck, her familiar scent calms his senses.

Jasmine, vanilla and her. She smells like home.

Donna figures Harvey's conversation with Lily was clearly an emotional one, so she shifts to make room for him, her arms open in a welcoming embrace.

"Harvey… are you ok?" she asks again, one hand now running soothing circles across his back.

Before Donna has a chance to say anything, his hand caresses her cheek, and his mouth finds hers. Harvey's touch is tender yet urgent. His lips feel familiar but also changed. She's been here before.

This is not a sensual kiss. In fact, it's anything but. Usually when their mouths meet, passion quickly takes over. But, tonight, she's not feeling that. This connection feels like something else.

The way his warm lips glide across hers… worshipping her mouth with every breath. She can barely breathe herself. The way his thumb steadies her chin, as he deepens his kiss. It's sending shivers through her core.

Donna can practically taste the honesty, and it transports her to that night months ago.

Seven determined knocks at her door, and before she knew it, he'd crossed her threshold and kissed her like his life depended on it.

Back then, it wasn't lustful either. It was desperate and wanting, as if something inside Harvey had burst, and was finally set free.

That night, she knew why. But, now she's not sure. As Harvey draws her closer, their mouths find a comfortable rhythm. Normally, by this time, she'd be tasting his tongue, and his teeth would be tugging on her bottom lip.

But not tonight. Instead, his hand gently smooths her hair, and he slowly pulls back.

Dizzy with what's happening, Donna's eyes remain closed, the effect of this raw emotion reverberating through her.

Leaning back onto the down feather pillow, Harvey can't help but adore what he sees. Her long lashes brushing her cheeks, the faintest smile on her mouth.

Without their gloss, her lips are the softest petal pink, and with her make-up gone, her porcelain skin is radiant.

"Everything's fine…," he assures, anticipating her confusion. "I just want to lie here with you."

First, this heartfelt kiss, and now her normally red-blooded boyfriend wants to cuddle.

"You're in luck, I've already warmed the bed," she says, good naturedly. Whatever's going on with Harvey, she expects she'll find out soon enough. "Get in."

Sitting up, he removes his navy shirt, charcoal jeans and pulls off his socks. With just his grey t-shirt and navy boxers, Harvey slides under the covers. His body, shivering under the warmth of Donna's embrace.

"Better?" she asks, her back leaning low against the headboard.

"Much," he whispers, as his head rests on her chest.

For a few minutes, they sit quietly, Donna returning to her book, while the fingers of her other hand play with his hair.

Then, breaking the silence, Harvey asks, "What are you reading?"

Donna lets out a chuckle, and glances down with eyebrows raised. "You want to know? You really want to know what I'm reading?"

"I do... why are you surprised?" he asks.

The question throws her. After his phone conversation with Lily, Donna assumed Harvey would bring up his mother.

Usually, when he's feeling emotional, he comes to her for insight, not for a conversation about one of Oprah's Book Club picks.

"I just thought you'd want to talk about Lily," she says, cautiously. Dog-earing her page, she closes the book, and places it on the bedside table.

"I want to talk about you," he counters, pulling her down, until they're sharing the same pillow. Under the blanket, his arm finds her waist, and he draws her closer.

"Ok…" Donna begins. "It's a novel about a woman who returns to her small town to care for her sick mother. She meets her high school sweetheart, and they rekindle their romance."

"Let me guess," Harvey says, with a half smile. "The guy's been in love with her all this time, and the woman had no idea."

"Maybe… you're a closet Harlequin reader, aren't you?" she giggles.

"No, but I could have written that," he replies.

"It's a memoir, then?" Donna teases. "Are you telling me your first love was Anastasia Jones from Cedarburg, Wisconsin, population eleven thousand?"

Rolling his eyes, Harvey chuckles. Under the covers, his hand soothes her back. "You really don't know, do you?"

That's another surprising thing about Donna. Sometimes she's practically psychic, and other times, she's completely unaware of the obvious.

"I've never told you this…" he begins. "But I've been seriously in love with you… for years."

Blinking fast, Donna juts her chin back with surprise.

"You've told me you had feelings, Harvey," she recalls. 'The first week we were together."

"It was more than feelings, Donna.. a lot more," he breathes.

"In love… for years?" she repeats. Her peaking eyebrows giving away her curiosity.

"_Seriously_ in love… for years," he corrects. He's never looked so earnest.

While his words still Donna's breath, her heart beats in double time. She always knew there was more between them, the potential bubbling just under the surface. It might have been sexual tension, curiosity or affection. Maybe even all three… but what he's telling her now… it was much more than that.

"Remember our night together… after we quit the DA's office?" he asks, as if she could ever forget.

Donna nods. Of course, she remembers.

"When I went home that morning, I got in the shower, and stayed there for a good half hour, trying to calm myself down," he admits. "I couldn't sleep, didn't eat all day. I kept thinking about you… about us," he admits. "It scared me. No… it terrified me.. so I called my dad."

Just the thought of that morning still causes a twinge in Harvey's core. Sure, he'd had his fair share of girlfriends before meeting Donna. He might have even thought he was in love once, but nothing compared to what she did to him after that night.

Her caring and acceptance. The way she made him feel like a man, even when he was at his most vulnerable. And then when they kissed…

It was only after a conversation with his father that Harvey was able to name it.

"Son, sounds to me like you're in love with this woman," Gordon told him over the phone, one afternoon. "And you might think those feelings come around often, but trust me, they don't. Don't let her go, Harvey, because you'll regret it."

"That's why you wanted me to work with you?" Donna questions.

"You were an amazing secretary, but yes… that was a big part of it," he admits, sheepishly. "I tried to manage it, find other relationships, tell myself we were good friends… But, Donna, you had me. You always have."

Donna exhales at Harvey's words. There have been moments over the years when she's thought exactly this, and then there have been times when she's believed the exact opposite.

Harvey never made it easy for her, always shielding his heart, and playing his cards carefully. It's no surprise he's the poker player that he is, she thinks.

"You hid your feelings well," Donna says.

"To you, maybe," Harvey replies. "I was living two lives there for a while. The everyday one and the one inside my head."

"Inside your head?" She's not sure what he means.

"The truth?" he replies, already feeling foolish. "In my head….you and I were together. When things got shitty, I'd imagine that. You loved me as much as I loved you. I couldn't access those feelings in real life, but I could in my head… and they felt real. Crazy, huh?"

Donna offers a gentle smile, her hand finding his cheek. "That's not crazy at all. And it was real. I might have had a few of those thoughts myself," she admits.

Harvey exhales in relief. It feels good to tell her these things. To open himself up, just a little more.

"Wanna know something even crazier," he asks. "I also thought I couldn't love you more than that… but I do."

"You're grateful because of the painting," she suggests. "I know how important it is to you."

"No, it's because of how important _you_ are to me," he corrects. "Yes, I'm happy it's back. But you know the first thing that came to my mind when I saw it?"

"Your girlfriend is an art thief?" she smiles.

"No… although that did cross my mind," he chuckles. "For years, that painting meant everything to me. But having you with me now, it doesn't compare."

"So, I committed a crime for nothing?" she playfully asks.

"You committed a crime for _everything_," Harvey replies. "You _wanting_ to get that painting for me, means more to me than you actually getting it… does that make sense?"

"It does," Donna says, her eyes suddenly becoming glassy, as she takes in his words. "I'm returning it first thing in the morning."

Squeezing her closer, Harvey leans in to kiss her once again. "Don't you dare."

Inches apart and under the covers, Harvey's hand rests comfortably on her hip, as they lie with their legs tangled.

"I'm glad I listened to my father's advice, because he was right," Harvey reflects.

"About your feelings?" she asks, feeling the warmth of his chest against hers.

"That when you find this, you should never let it go," he explains. "I've screwed up a few times over the years, but I got this right… and I'm never letting you go, Donna, ever."

A smile warms Donna's lips, as her hazel eyes gaze lovingly at him. "You'll never have to."

"Donna…" Harvey sighs. "I don't tell you enough and that's going to change… You're perfect. You're everything to me, and I love you… completely."

"I love you, too Harvey," she says, softly. Then with a mischievous smile, she asks. "Would you steal a painting for me?"

"In a heartbeat," he chuckles. "That would make a great romance novel, don't you think?"

Nodding, she jokes. "An epic tale about a handsome lawyer who steals a painting _and _the heart of the woman he _seriously_ loves."

"I like it," he grins. "How does it end?"

"You tell me," Donna challenges, her fingers teasing the hairs at his nape.

"They get married," he swallows. His eyes cautiously dart between hers, and the silence between them feels like forever.

"You think?" she smiles. Her eyes, once again, glassy.

"Donna…"

"Yes, Harvey…"

"Give me a second," he says, pulling away and breaking the mood.

Her hair splayed across the pillow, Donna watches Harvey fumble through his sock drawer, his eyes squinting in the dim light. As he turns, she gasps at the sight of his fingers curled around a small velour box.

Sliding back under the duvet, he lies close to her, his head, once again, sharing her pillow.

"I've had this for months," he admits, as the box disappears under the covers.

"Are you actually…?" She can't breathe.

"Donna…" his voice is quivering now. "I meant it. I've been in love with you a long time. I've imagined this, and now you're here… you're the love of my life."

Harvey isn't sure who started tearing up first, but his eyes are blurry, and so are hers.

"Another crazy secret," he sniffles. The box now peeking through the top of the duvet. "I bought this a week after we got together. I was waiting for the perfect moment… then, I realized, being with you _is_ perfect… so, what am I waiting for?"

Donna's hand is now cupping her mouth. She thought maybe, one day, but this very moment? Her tears, now heavy salty drops, are staining the pillow case.

"Even when I wasn't capable... deep down, I knew you were the one. My mom knows… my father knew it. Now I want you to know it," he continues, his thumb chasing her tears away.

"Donna…" he whispers, her name vibrating in his throat.

"Yes… Harvey," she barely gets the words out.

"I love you, more than you know, more than I could ever tell you. So, I'm asking…" Harvey swallows. "Will you… marry me? Be my wife?"

Her breath still, his proposal ringing in her ears, and she struggles to speak.

"Yes, Harvey… yes, yes, yes," she sniffles through her tears.

With an unstoppable grin, Harvey props himself up on his elbow. He opens the box to reveal a stunning five-carat, solitaire diamond set in platinum.

"I guess I better make it official then," his says, as his fingers seek her shaking hand. Harvey's never felt more certain about anything in his life.

Donna's eyes go wide, as he slides the ring on. It's exactly what she would have imagined from him. Exquisite in quality, but not showy. Classic in design and built to last.

"Harvey, this is gorgeous," she beams, as he slides back to meet her under the covers.

"I wanted something perfect, just like you," he compliments, his hands pulling her in until their bodies are flush.

"So… we're engaged?" she's giddy at this new reality. Harvey once told her they'd be together forever, but when she challenged him about marriage, he wasn't ready to offer the definite "yes" she'd secretly hoped for.

"Yes, we are." he says, sounding both excited and relieved. Asking Donna to marry him is one of the proudest moments of his life. "And I love you."

"Thank you," Donna replies, the emotion still raw in her throat.

"For the ring?" he asks.

"For telling me you love me," she explains. "I know how you feel, Harvey, but just like you, I need to hear it."

Nodding, he understands what she's saying. "Ok… I'll make sure to tell you."

"And maybe show me from time to time," she playfully suggests, as she places a soft kiss to his lower lip.

"You want me to steal a painting?" he teases back.

"No need to break the law, my love. I think we can find another canvas you can work with," she flirts.

Pulling the duvet over both their heads, his mouth captures her neck while his hands brush the length of her silk nightie.

"Hang on," Harvey declares. "I think I'm getting inspired!"

"Alright, Bob Ross," Donna giggles. "Show me what you got!"


End file.
